SPY breakout from consolidation - uptrend is not broken

Jul 3

Spy has now broken out of consolidation. I feel election year is gonna push this higher along with the economic downturn. Some will say economic downturn? How is that bullish. Its bullish because, the last thing America would want during an economic downturn is their stock market to collapse. They keep propping this up until the foreign money in the US market is at maximum levels. That when they'll dump. Once the foreign money is shaken out, they will resume uptrend. This is just my personal theory. Whichever way, the price action is bullish. Some will point at volume. Over the years, i have never found volume to be a reliable indicator.

Jul 3

Note

Studying the charts further I think we are due for a pullback. However we will have to see next week. End of the day you got to follow the price. Will update on Monday.

Jul 11

Note

The people on the SPY board have double standards. So whenever i post they start downvoting. Then other people who post identical posts to me, get upvotes. I remember some said post on ideas, and don't post on Minds. So thats what i have decided. I will just post here.

Jul 11

Note

Beware of sharing your dream of becoming a successful trader with people. You have to stay away from people if you are an unsuccessful trader. Because people will tell you to give up your dreams if you are not successful right now. Successful people are 2. The one who was born with an outstanding talent. And the one who was not born with outstanding talent, but through hard work and persistance, they managed to improve until they were succesful. Those born with an outstanding talent are rare. The majority of people worked their way to success. If you are not successful at trading right now, and you tell people, they will stop you from pursuing your dream.

Jul 11

Note

Overtrading is the single biggest problem i have. Its an addiction. That is what it is. I need to overcome it. Its just senseless, making some gains and then losing it. Then when you make the losses, you make more losses. Got to get rid of this overtrading addiction.

Jul 12

Note

I have one hater who always posts comments on my minds posts, cursing me, ridiculing me, and then deletes her comments. Whats funny is, deep down she believes i might make it one day through my hard work, and thats why she is always reading my posts. In life, you will always come across haters, and jealous people. They want to hurt you, by posting insults, and they get a thrill when you lose. The common trait these people have, is they like to brag, 'I made 10k this week'. They think bragging is a good quality to have in life. I don't like bragging. It was never in my nature.

Jul 12

Note

SOUN is looking good for a while. Keep an eye on that one.

Jul 12

Note

GME also moving right now

Jul 12

Note

AMC also looks like it might go up from here

Jul 12

Note

MDXUSD crypto also moving for a while

Jul 12

Note

bullish on SPY intraday right now

Jul 12

Note

sold my calls now because i gotta go work, but it still looks good

Jul 13

Note

Looking at the price of SPY on Friday, i am still bullish on SPY going forward. The long-term trend is not broken. So until then im bullish. However i am an intra-day trader. So mainly i'm looking for daytrades.

Bought and sold a lotto PUT on Friday even though i am bullish on SPY. People did not like it. They think its gambling. But i don't see any harm if you made profits to risk a little on a lotto. I actually took an inverse trade on someone elses call. Why? Because statistics show that roughly 90% of retailers lose. So if i inverse retail, i should have 90% chance to win. But people are saying this is a gamble. But this gamble has 90% probability of winning.

Jul 13

Note

Studying the charts further, i think Monday might be volatile. Because there is mixed signals between the futures chart and the SPY chart. Futures chart is showing more weakness than the SPY chart. So they are up to some games. Gotta be ready for their games on Monday.

Jul 14

Note

No matter how much any trader talks, the proof is always in the pudding. The red flags are:
1 - They don't like to trade real-time (live).
2 - They like to boast about winning.
3 - After the market makes a move they will say they had bought calls/puts earlier.

When a trader trades live, they cannot lie. It is impossible to lie. Thats why i have always respected traders that trade live, even if they continually lose. I love the honesty.

Jul 14

Note

Sunday. just started studying now. Anxiety kicks in, because every chart setup is wrong sometimes. So therefore you are not guaranteed a win. But i''m on my last legs with my account. Can't really afford to lose now. But this is the life i chose. My ex-mentor said to me once, 'do not think you can walk into the market, and just win a bunch of money. The market is not a walk in the park'. I only realised once i became bankrupt from it. But maybe its just me. Everyone i see on ideas, and minds, come across as winners. Maybe its true. Maybe i am the only loser on Tradingview. But things can change.

Jul 15

Note

Need to start Monday off with a win. Nothing is worse, than losing on a Monday.

Jul 15

Note

One of the problems with SPY options trading is when it makes a big move in premarket. Whenever it does that, after open you are susciptible to getting reversed suddenly or the price action being flat. And right now the futures chart is looking like its gonna go up big.

Jul 15

Note

In either case, for those in cash like I am, AH/PM price action means nothing. The only price action that will be important is after open when we can buy Calls/Puts. Yes the mind has kicked into overdrive now, because i'm anxious to trade, and therefore studying constantly. It's 2 am and i cannot sleep. This happens every Sunday. I just cannot sleep and i worry that im gonna lose my first trade on Monday. But this is normal for me. The life of a trader is very stressful when you are unsuccessful. Can't wait for the day that i become successful and will then be able to sleep on Sunday.

Jul 15

Note

ACHR and CYH are decent bets on a long hold.

Jul 15

Note

LCID is also a decent bet on a long hold

Jul 15

Note

market slow but TSLA moving

Jul 15

Note

This is my last post ever. I got a message from Tradingview saying they were constantly getting messages from people, over the past months, complaining about me. They banned me for a day. And i know these people wanted to hound me out from the SPY board. Well they have succeeded. Because i've decided i'd rather not post anymore and risk getting perma-banned. I think thats best for everyone. And this is how i will beat my haters. I will just stop posting. After all, this is what they wanted. So i'm going to comply and stop posting. Sorry for those few people that enjoyed my entertainment. The problem is, i can't be myself and talk about my alter-ego 'Livermore 2.0' anymore. People will just start reporting and Tradingview will ban me. And without my 'Livermore 2.0' posts, i don't enjoy posting.

So farewell everyone. Ayesha has finally left the building.

Jul 17

Note

Always I try to leave. And then i can't. Because trading is a lonely business. You don't have anyone to speak to. Your alone with your phone and computer. So what else can you do, other than type comments. Trading is a lonely business, especially for hyper-active people like me. Anyway, the market set the bull trap and i fell into it. Pre-Market down almost 5 dollars. Yeah i'm done with holding overnight. Going back to my daytrading. I'm not getting any success with overnighting. Back to daytrading. So need to devise a plan. The plan is just take profits if up 25%. Thats it. Thats the plan.

Jul 17

Note

Time to stay away from the SPY board for a while. They'll start ripping me. Staying here for a while.

Jul 17

Note

bought calls cutting if i get 25% profit

Jul 17

Note

bought puts now any profit and im out

Jul 17

Note

taken profit. This is my plan now. Gonna take any profit above 15%

Jul 17

Note

bought calls

Jul 17

Note

doesnt look good on my calls right now

Jul 17

Note

cut losses on calls need to protect account

Jul 17

Note

bought puts

Jul 17

Note

overtrading. Why i can't just take one trade a day and run

Jul 17

Note

I bought some calls end of market, got caught. Went down immediately. Some people on the SPY board started blaming me for the price going down, because apparently everytime i buy, it goes the opposite way. Thats how childish people are. They believe i caused the market to go down by buying calls. Of course i am not happy, i'm losing on that call. Was meant to be a daytrade, but has now turned into an overnighter. Doubt it will win.

What can i do. Thats life.

Better to be an honest loser, than a lying winner.

Will just carry on studying my charts for patterns and stuff. Thats all one can do in these situations.

Jul 18

Note

I do not believe that buying and selling moves the price in the stock market. There is proof for this. If SPY futures go up 1% After Hours, SPY gaps up 1% at Pre-Market. How does it gap up with the first SPY share sold. Who is bidding for SPY shares at 1% higher price at pre-market open. It should go up incremently, not just Gap Up 1%. There is no-one in the world that will just bid 1% higher at premarket open. This is the proof of manipulation in the market.

This is more clear in the penny stock trading world. Sometimes you will find a penny stock has rocketed pre-market 200% in 2mins with 100 shares sold. Then the rest of the day 100m-500m shares are sold and the price has remained flat. How can a penny stock remain flat with that much volume.

Also in SPY, just watch the price action. 50% of the days, the middle part of the day remains flat no matter how much the volume, until when? Until 30mins before market close. Then as soon as retails 0dtes are auto-closed, baaaaaaam it goes up/down 1-2 dollars.

Thats why a lot of traders say do not trade news, volume, order blocks and such. They say trade the price action. The price action shows which way the manipulation is going.

Jul 18

Note

sold my calls for breakeven

Jul 18

Note

i can relax now, and wait for another trade.

Jul 18

Note

gonna go lunch now. im not getting any buy or sell conditions, so might aswell have lunch. Its 3.20pm here in the uk

Jul 18

Note

I did buy a PUT but sadly i took profits too quick just 10% of account gained. I could not post it as i was trading off the phone and eating lunch. Gonna sit out now. The middle hours of the market, i don't want to touch. I always get theta burned when i take a trade in the middle part. Just gonna be patient and wait for good opportunities. Just trying to tell myself, Ayesha you made 10% gains, so just run. But as you know, i have an overtrading problem. Maybe a greed problem too. Because i'm broke. But i'm gonna try stick to it.

Jul 18

Note

NVDA is at bottom for a swing trade in my opinion. I'm broke so can't afford to have capital tied up in it, otherwise i would've bought a longer dated call.

Jul 18

Note

I'm happy sticking to the plan of not trading the middle(lunch time) part of the day, so far. Lots of trades missed doing this. But i need to stop being greedy. I made 10% of my account but the whole day i'm not happy. This is greed. I just can't get rid of these emotions. But i need to learn to control it. Its hard. It's hard for me, because i am a naturally hyperactive person. So i don't have a good personality for trading. Calm people, win more. I gotta learn to control myself.

Jul 18

Note

Not gonna take anymore trades today. Will learn my lesson from yesterday, when i bought calls end of market and had to sweat all night due to a losing position. Going to sleep well today, take the 10% and come back tomorrow.

Jul 18

Note

Gonna backtrack on NVDA. Although it went up 3 dollars from my post, i'm not feeling it due to further study of the charts. If in doubt exit, is best.

Jul 18

Note

Not sure with SPY. When it dumps, a natural reaction is to buy the dip, but i dont want to swing calls/puts unless i have conviction. Right now i have no conviction on the direction, so i'm just gonna daytrade.

Jul 18

Note

To me AMD looks like a safer better bet than NVDA for a swing.

Jul 18

Note

The only thing that matters is the price SPY opens at. Thats why there is no point looking at the futures chart if you are trading options. I've seen premarket up 0.50% and then opens red.

Jul 19

Note

Woke up today, and I am backtracking on buying any stocks. One of the advices of Jessie Livermore is to not buy stocks when the market is going down. The probabilites are less in your favour if you buy stocks when the market is going down. Be Patient. Do not try to catch the tops and bottoms. Yes sometimes buying oversold and shorting overbought are the best trades in the world. But when they go wrong, they go really wrong. Be patient.

Most stocks will not be able to withstand a drop, if the market drops.

A lot of haters still on the SPY board. Despite me posting on minds that i sold my calls. One poster took his time out to post a meme of me buying calls at the point the market dropped. Then 28 people liked his comment, despite knowing this was a lie. Rather it was the opposite. The market dropped when i sold my calls.

I never cared for what people think. I just continue studying.

The same people who hate me are always reading my posts. Thats how spiteful people are. The guy lied about me, saying i bought calls, and not 1 person replied to him, saying, 'No, Broketothebone did not buy calls. She sold her calls'.

I'm not into being a bad person. Lying about winning. Bragging about winning. Mocking people. Downvoting people for no reason. Telling people 'go get a real job'.

Those who know me, know i don't care what the people think.

Do your own stuff. Im doing my own stuff.

Jul 19

Note

BTC not looking good either. Maybe market is gonna continue the downward spiral.

Jul 19

Note

Futures charts is showing some buying, so i expect there will be some V shaped action today, and possibly a pump reversal.

Jul 19

Note

Market is showing signs of reversal in the futures chart. I think we may end green.

Jul 19

Note

Today is Friday, and if i have to sit out i will. One does not need to trade everyday.

Jul 19

Note

Going work in 40 mins. Can't provide any real-time updates today from work until i get home back to my laptop. Good luck trading today. Good luck to me also. If theres no trade, don't force the trade. Sideways action is a killer for options. They catch all of us out with that stuff.

Jul 19

Note

BTC is breaking out. So maybe good news for stock market

Jul 19

Note

bought puts now

Jul 19

Note

Back from work. Today same again. I sold for 14% gain, when i could have got 250%. But i'm gonna be grateful for the 14%. I saw a video where a trader said, you could say for every trade, i should've held longer or i should've took profits quicker. Shoulda, woulda, does not help anyone. Just move on. Be grateful for the 14% and move on. I am angry tho, at missing out on a big win. I think my broker is scamming some of my profits aswell, because i press market sell. Anyway who cares. The only thing people care about is current trades.

Jul 19

Note

Boring Weekends are here. I just wanna trade.

Jul 20

Note

Wake up study. Thats how i know i'm addicted to trading. But the problem is i know myself. I know i won't ever give up trading, unless i had a 100k salary. If someones gives me 100k salary, then i will give up today.

Jul 20

Note

Best days of my life are weekends. Can't they give us a replacement for SPY on the weekends.

Jul 21

Note

Monday i expect they will take it down before open or after open. I don't expect it to open higher. After that anything goes. Maybe up, maybe down.

Jul 22

Note

Monday the anxiety goes up. I feel like im gonna make a wrong trade and blow my account.

Jul 22

Note

Will sit out today if i have to.
One does not need to trade everyday - Advice from my former mentor turned enemy.

Jul 22

Note

SERV is bullish but no options on it

Jul 22

Note

RR bullish today also, but no options

Jul 22

Note

CRWD bearish today

Jul 22

Note

So i didn't post anything because all that studying over the weekend, was for nothing. My charts did not work straight away. I bought some calls and escaped with 5%, but that was me almost done. Just chilling for now. Making new charts waiting for after 0dtes to close out and then see if there is a trade.

Jul 22

Note

probably not gonna take more trades today. Will try to run away with that 5%. But you know how its is, all weekend you dream of hitting 30-100% profit on Monday and then it doesn't happen, and you feel underwhelmed. Gonna try stay out.

Jul 22

Note

Didn't take no more trades. Was waiting for it to hit 556 and then buy PUTS but it didn't hit 556 and therefore i withheld buying PUTS. 5% profit and i'm gonna be grateful for it. I know a lot of people got chopped up last 2hrs and lost. So i'm just gonna be grateful for the 5%. I'm pleased with myself for having patience not to enter another trade. Sleeping good today. Monday out of the way, and not red.

Love it. Mood is good. I can listen to songs and enjoy.

Listening to Twinkle - by Dexta Daps.

Jul 22

Note

Of course i have regrets selling my calls early. But remember, for every trade you can say the same thing. I should've sold earlier, i should've held longer. Shoulda Woulda is not gonna help you. Analyse your trades. Try to improve. Thats all you can do in this game.

Also never take notice of people's comments. The way these people claim they are winning, they should already be multi-millionaires. You got one guy claiming he made 250k and then buys 2 otm calls. You bought 2 otm calls and you got 250k. Don't make me laugh. The whole trading world is full of liars. Thats why no-one trades live real-time. After a move happens they always post they bought earlier. Why didn't you post real-time.

My ex-mentor used to do the same, until i caught him out. Then he tried to trade live and when he did that he kept losing.

Beware of traders who cannot trade live. Talking about VIX dont make you a good trader.

Jul 23

Note

No updates today, will be away from my laptop. Got to go shopping, will trade off the phone. Gonna try get one trade in and run. Day Trading off the phone is difficult.

Jul 23

Note

Just got back from shopping. Took the one trade. Bought calls soon after open. Posted the entry on minds. Downvoted as usual. I don't care. Made 28% of account today, so i'm happy. The rest of the day, will just be me, battling against myself, to not take anymore trades.

Run Ayesha, Run. Take that 28% and run away. We'll come back tomorrow.

Jul 23

Note

Jesse gave me a message today. He said give up.

Jul 24

Note

Its your fault Ayesha. You lost the battle against yourself to not take anymore trades. You averaged down more. Why? Why can you never follow your rules. You broke one rule, and then broke another averaging down. Why Ayesha? Why? You are just a bag of disappointment. I hate you.

Jul 24

Note

im ok for now. Lost this weeks profits buying calls again yesterday. Bought PUTS today and back in profit 7% for the week.

Jul 24

Note

Its so funny. Every single day. After a move happens, people start posting i was in PUTS. I made this much. Why didn't you post when you bought the PUTS. Whats the point of just posting 'I made this much'. I posted my entry today on minds. I said 'SPY is dead dead'. I'm not into posting just for the sole purpose of bragging. I don't even understand how these people are not millionaires by now, since they keep posting that they made this much and that much. Oh the online world of trading is full of lies.

Jul 24

Note

I'm almost falling into the same mistake i did yesterday, waiting to get another trade.

Ayesha, STOP. Walk away. Are you listening. Walk. Away.

Jul 24

Note

Dario is back under a new name. Everyone has a unique style of writing. You can't hide Dario. No-one is stupid.

Jul 24

Note

I managed to not take anymore trades. I'm happy. I spent sometime online today looking for my ex-mentor and i managed to find him. Sadly i noticed he hasn't logged in for a year. And he hasn't posted on other sites for a year too. So i think he has died. He was 84. He was the only person i got on with. We had the same humour and our trading styles were similar, just i couldn't execute and i keep selling early and holding on for too long. I feel sad. I know i will never find another person who's thinking and and humour is the same as mine. We used talk online for hours. In the beginning he called me 'Livermore'. He thought i was gonna become Livermore. Then he found out, I was erratic, couldn't control my emotions, had gambling tendencies and kept selling my runners and holding onto my losers. Then he turned on me and called me names constantly. I would reply to him saying 'I'm Livermore'. He would reply back 'I'm the real Livermore'. He said to me, 'I'm gonna wait for the day you sail into the Manhattan Marina in your yacht. I'll be waiting for you in my spot near the marina'. I'm sad because it will never happen now. I think he has died. There is no way he would stop posting on all sites. Trading was his life.

He was a liar though. He would post charts after a move and claim he won. One day i noticed some descrepancies in his posts. So i kept saying to him, post when you enter the trade. Not afterwards. Then i kept pestering him to post his entries real-time. So one day he started to post real-time. Then he lost every single trade, and my money got lost too.

But he taught me the basics of trading, and lots of other stuff which i still use today. So i am forever grateful to him.

Sorry Litwin. I never made during your lifetime, and i couldn't give you the money i promised i would give you, if i ever made it. Sorry Litwin. I'm still the same loser. But i'm still fighting. You know Ayesha would not give up ever.

Jul 25

Note

I have a feeling BTC is gonna dump overnight

Jul 25

Note

Theres the dump

Jul 25

Note

GOLD dumping now

Jul 25

Note

Everyday will be the same. After a move happens, the people will post, I bought PUTS/CALLS yesterday or after open. Why didn't you post when you entered the trade? I asked this many times and people would get defensive, saying they do not need to post their entries live. Yeah thats true. But you also do not need to post your entries 8hrs late. I hope every liar loses their money.

I hate lying. Whats wrong with being honest.

Jul 25

Note

Bought Puts. Posted the entry on minds. They theta decayed me so only got 13.5% gain on account. Could've held longer and got 100%+ but because i was 35% down at one point, i sold when i got green. Mainly because i was all in. If the trade goes wrong, my account would've been gone. Now is the hard bit. Trying to not take anymore trades.

Same stuff today again. People saying they are in PUTS after the move. It's a joke online. Just full of liars.

Jul 25

Note

So Milo said today 'why do you keep coming back when everyone hates you explicitly'. Before it didn't used to hurt. But today it hurt. Sometimes i wish, i was never alive.

Jul 25

Note

Today i had a good day. Bought PUTS near end of market with my profits and SPY tanked. I posted my entry on Minds. Got in slightly early but it worked very well in the end. 47% gain on account today. Could've been more, but i always sell too early. But like i said. For every trade you could say, i should've held longer or i should've sold earlier. End of the day, if you made profit, be grateful. Nothing feels worse than a red day. I did allow myself to have a dance after the market ended. I am human after all. I got happy with myself today. So i played Dexta Daps - Twinkle song and had a little dance. I deserve to feel happy sometimes. The market has been pure torture for me for 3 years and 8mths. I'm still broke. But still fighting for my dream to become a trader. My target was to double my account every week or hit 50% increase at least. So far on track this week despite a loss and selling too early. 57% of account gained. I'm happy for now. Just need to finish the week with one more win. But im not counting on it. I always lose in the end.

Jul 27

Note

I didn't post my entries on minds today. People kept downvoting my posts, so i i thought ok, i wont post my entries today. Lets see your posts today. To be fair, the board gave good long entries. I wish i had taken them instead of trying to make money off PUTS. Nevertheless, I made 38% of account. Lost a few trades and won a few. My charts were not working well today. So thats concerning.

Jul 27

Note

The weekend is just a countdown to Monday for me.

Jul 27

Note

I wish the Market would only close on Sunday. 1 day off. That would be ideal and bearable. 2 days is unbearable for me. They say this is addiction. But i'm not denying that I am addicted to the market.

Jul 27

Note

I just want to trade

Jul 28

Note

Are we ready for the Pump.
Are we ready,
Ready for the Pump
Are we, Are we, ready for the Pump.

Jul 28

Note

Fridays price action has put a spanner in the works. I don't have a clue what the direction is for Monday. I have no bias going into the market Monday.

Jul 28

Note

Not sure why, but i don't feel confident in myself this week. Friday i lost a couple of trades, which i cut early to protect my profits for the day. But i was shocked i lost 2 trades in a row. Just not feeling good at the moment. I just feel like im gonna lose Monday and i would be back to square one. I hope i can get a winning trade Monday.

Jul 29

Note

Charts are not working. Only half a day left. They are gonna catch me sooner or later. I can feel it coming. Just wish they would give me one mega day so that i could just play with house money.

Jul 29

Note

Account up 29% today. Should've held but my entry was so bad, i had to get out when it went green. I bought calls. Now i have to battle with myself to not take anymore trades and run.

Ayesha please. Take the 29% and run. For once in your life, control yourself. Take the 29% and run. Run away Ayesha.

Jul 29

Note

I couldn't do it could i. Went back in with calls. Sold the calls after hours for a loss. Gave away some profits. So just 15% of account gained today. I'm not stressing over the lost profits though. I made 15% and i'm happy with that. Losing money is what makes me upset. And thats why i sold my calls for a loss and did not overnight them. Because if i sell, i can finish the day with 15% profit. But if i hold my calls, then they might go to zero tomorrow and then i'd be in loss. Plus, when i hold positions overnight i can't sleep. So that was my decision, cut losses on the calls. Finish up the day with 15% profit. My charts are beginning to fail me a bit last 2 trading days. So got some studying to do tonight. But things are going well recently. I feel i am controlling my impulsive buying a lot more.

Jul 29

Note

Beware of comparing your trading results to others. If you see someone post 'i made 140%' don't let that affect you. Stick to your gameplan. Stick your gameplan. You are You. You cannot replicate another traders performance. You must stick to your gameplan. Yes i stopped posting my entries real-time now. When people keep downvoting me everytime i post a winning entry, there is only so long I will continue posting my entries. They don't want me to post my entries and i am fine with that.

Jul 29

Note

Listening to
Melanie C - Never be the same again.

The deluded Livermore 2.0 is still here. Here we go Jesse. Ayesha is thundering forward.

Jul 29

Note

Lucky i sold my calls. SPY down 0.21% after hours.

Jul 30

Note

Maybe not lucky i sold my calls, because Futures is going up right now. But i dont care. Sold my calls to guarantee a winning Monday. And thats all that counts. Any green is green. 15% gain on whole account aint no joke.

Jul 30

Note

If i'm honest seeing futures go up and the thought that if i held my calls i could've made money, is annoying. Really annoying when you sell and it goes up afterwards. LOL. But. And this is the big But. You did well Ayesha. You booked profits for Monday. And no problem. There will be further opportunities to make money today. Stop stressing Ayesha. You got 15% yesterday. Be happy. Stop moaning. Just stop with that nonsense.

Jul 30

Note

Anyone notice how fast the week goes and how slow the weekend goes. Monday just flew past. Its Tuesday already.

Jul 30

Note

Can't wait to see the posts on minds today. I just love watching people provide a running commentary on the price action all day and then declare they took no trades the whole day. So what was you doing. Just advising everyone what to buy and what to sell.

How about YOU buy and YOU sell, instead of advising others all day what they should do with their money. Put your money where your mouth is.

Whats funny is these posters get the most likes despite the fact that they've been telling everyone to buy PUTS since 530. So how is that a win?

Jul 30

Note

Very bad day. Bought calls at the top and got demolished. Switched to puts and got some back. But now i'm red for the week. Down 11% this week now. And this is the reason i never get happy when i win. I know the loss is just around the corner with me always. Not gonna complain, account still double from last week. As i was saying, my charts have stopped working well. This is the 3rd my charts are not working well. This is the troubling part.

Again, don't compare yourself to other traders who post 'I made 200%'. Stick to your gameplan. You are You.

Today again, the commentators are out. Commentating on the price action all day, and not disclosing their entries. Lets just pretend we are great traders by not trading live. That way you can pretend you are winning always, like these dummies pretend they do. You go through their mind posts, and every post they are winning. Never a loss. Probably multi-millionaires by now with the amoung of winning they do.

Anyway, just carry on studying and working . Thats all one can do.

Jul 31

Note

Woke up today, very depressed. I just said to myelf, do not speak. You do not know anything. If you did, you wouldn't be broke. So stop talking. Hit a roadblock with my charts too. I cannot improve them any further no matter how much i try. This is the end. I think Milo was right. I will probably blow this account aswell. I think i've blown around 45-50 accounts in my life. I have the worst trading record in history.

I always had a fantasy, about the greatest rags to riches story of all-time. Livermore 2.0. She went from the worst trader in history to become the greatest trader of all-time.

Yep. It was a pipe dream. I will never succeed. I've lost all hope now. My belief is shot to pieces.

I think this is the end of my dream to become Livermore 2.0 one day.

I so wanted to become Livermore 2.0. I spent my whole trading life, telling myself, one day Ayesha, you will become Livermore 2.0. But now i feel the fight in me, has gone. It really has gone.

I feel so deflated, like never before. Even though i'm only down 11% this week. I still feel like my world has collapsed. And that i am nothing. Rather i am just Ayesha. The biggest loser to have ever traded. Record holder of accounts blown.

Jul 31

Note

Just accept the reality Ayesha. You are a failure in everything in your life. Can't believe you spent night and day on this for over 3 years, and there is no improvement. I hate you Ayesha. I hate you so much.

Jul 31

Note

got my first trade in. Bought calls and sold. 24% of account gained. Back in green for the week. Up 10% this week. Just carry on until i die.

Jul 31

Note

so annoying. I must be the queen of selling runners.

Jul 31

Note

so i posted on minds 'about to rocket'. And initially it went down a bit, and then it rocketed. And even now after its rocketed, there are people downvoting my post. This is the unfair hate i don't like. I was right with my call out. It succeeded, yet they still proceed to downvote my post after it rocketed. This is the nonsense hate i get.

Jul 31

Note

Time to listen to some songs to distract me from entering more trades and then ending the day Red.

Listening to
Highs & Lows - Prinz

Jul 31

Note

oh well lost some on calls. 18% profit for now. I have a problem with my broker SaxoBank, which is they auto-close ODTES 2 hours before market close. So the red bar at that time, auto closed me out. Not fair, because it went up in the next bars, but hey ho. Thats life. Work with what you have. Just up 7% of account this week now. Can't complain. Green is green. Just have to keep working. My charts failed me again on the second trade.

Aug 1

Note

Some posters just make me laugh. We got one posting on BTC, saying
'hold on to your butts'. Too funny

Aug 1

Note

So there is a live trader on the SPY board. His name is Miller. I love his posts. He posts his entries real-time. He puts his reputation on the line. He is sincere. Others refuse to post their entries real-time, because they want to look good always. You know how it is. Talk and talk, to pretend you are some great trader. Post some of your entries real-time if you are such a good trader. I used to say this to some of them. Then some of them plucked up the courage to post some entries. And what happpened? They lost. And then they stopped posting entries and went back to waffling about VIX, Economy, RSI, PC ration, DXY, 10 year bonds and every single waffle in the world. But when you post a live entry you lose.

Lets see you post your entries, then we can see how good you are, instead of just claiming you are a good trader.

Aug 1

Note

Everytime someone tries to advise you, reply 'ok i'll follow you. Tell me when to buy and when to sell'. Just watch what happens. They'll get all defensive, coming out with all sorts of excuses to back out.

Hold on. You are advising me, pretending you are better than me, so when i accept you are a better trader than me, and say tell me when to buy and sell. Suddenly you get defensive and don't want to show how good of a trader you are.

This is how you spot the liars. The gamblers. The braggards.

I respect every trader that can back up his/her words.

As for the trader that likes to waffle, but can't back his words up, i have zero respect for.

In fact i respect the trader that trades live and loses all the time, more than i respect the wafflers.

Wafffle,waffle,waffle. Thats all they know.

Aug 1

Note

oh well bought calls. jumped out with profit. Went back in, now my calls are almost zero. My charts failed me again. Account will be down 20% this week

Aug 1

Note

I will never make it.

Aug 1

Note

Very bad day, broke rules, averaged down on calls. They went to zero. Actually i still have the odte calls, no buyers even at 1 cent. Had to do a hail mary gamble on puts. Account is now down 38% this week. But i thought i was finished. Just have to study more, and pick myself up. I wont give up.

You seen that GIF of a person who dug a tunnel looking for the pot of gold. And he turned around and gave up after digging for months. And if he just dug one more time, he would've reached the Gold. But he gave up and turned around.

Yeah thats my motivation.

I feel i am nearly there and this is not the time to give up.

I have to become Livermore 2.0. That was my dream.

I have to keep fighting on.

Aug 1

Note

I'm not gonna post on MINDS anymore. They were so happy when posted that my accounts gone. Thats cool. I'll stick to myself like Jesse Livermore did. They all read my posts here anyway. Thats how much of a hypocrite they are.

Again, don't look at the performances of other traders. Just concentrate on your own trading. How can i not fall into bad entries. Just keep working on that. Watching other people is not good for the emotions. Sometimes you feel why does everyone else get a big win, but i never get a big win. So just stick to improving yourself.

Keep Working.

I hope i dont mess up tomorrow, since my account is just 206 now. Just enough for 1 odte call/put.

I gotta throw away my current charts and go back to my old chart from a year ago.

Analysing different chart setups, i found my old chart was actually better than the ones i've been using these last two weeks. But every chart setup is wrong sometimes. And i just hope my next trade i don't mess up. Otherwise my account will be gone.

Aug 1

Note

There was a new guEy today, who posted that he lost 25k today. And it was most of his account. Reminded me of the time when i just started trading. I put 25k into one trade. I feel bad for him. What can you do though. People do fall into that mistake of playing too big when they start out. I feel bad for him though.

Aug 1

Note

got a little back account now 220

Aug 1

Note

mm. That was strange. I bought OTM PUTS last minute of market, AH market went down, i sold, and got a £1 loss. Whats that all about.

Aug 1

Note

account is 219 now LOL. The real Broketothebone. I've thought about things hard. And i think for sure i am not gonna post on minds anymore. Everyone keeps bullying me. Plus look at the size of my account. I shouldn't even say anything when my account size is 219. So thats it. No more posting on minds and in turn getting abuse from fellow traders. They did say to me not to post on minds, and instead post my self-thoughts on ideas. So i'm here now. I guess i am a broken person today. Because before i couldn't live without posting on minds. But now i dont want to go on there no more. I just feel that i am a loser. A brokie. So i really shouldn't be speaking. Besides, i have given up on swing trading totally after today. No stock can withstand a market drop, apart from maybe some penny stocks that are at rock bottom. But every large cap, baaaam, down. The only way i woiuld swing anything is if i took a daytrade, won, and then left some profits to run. Otherwise i'll stick to daytrading SPY only. Just a shame i got bulltrapped today, and then jumped in PUTS so so late. Then its hard to hold your PUTS because you've entered when its already gone down nearly 2%.

Anyway got to study the charts and try to see if i can find improvements.

I just hope i can get a win tomorrow and end the week green. That would be nice.

Aug 2

Note

I just wish i could be someone, instead of being a loser.
I just wish i could be loved, instead of being hated.
But i have to accept the reality.
I will never be loved.
And i will always be that useless loser Ayesha.
Everyone hates me, and it hurts.

Aug 2

Note

i dont know whats wrong with me. I said i wouldnt post on minds and then i just go post on BTC minds.

Ok thats it. Gonna stop posting on minds.

Just gonna stay here.

Aug 2

Note

The only thing that is truly bullish still, is GOLD

Aug 2

Note

This is the first day in my life that i have not read anything on Minds. Maybe I am growing as a person, by doing what i said i would do. Minds, has not been good for me. I'll be glad if i never see Minds again. People wanted me to lose. To bully me. To mock me. To laugh at me. To try and hurt me. But now Ayesha has left for good. They cannot get to me anymore. I don't care if they become millionaires or broke. I have nothing to do with my abusers anymore. They cannot torture me, mentally anymore. If they try do that here, it won't work. Because there is no audience here for people to join in.

On minds it was like a game. One downvotes and then 45 people downvote, despite my post being a winning entry.

That is called bullying. Ayesha gets it right, and then 45 people downvote. What is that all about. I know what it is. They wanted to show their hate.

Thats ok, try bully me here. You can't.

Ayesha will continue on. Maybe one day she will become Livermore 2.0 and then you will realise, mocking people to the brink of suicide, is not on.

This level of bullying would've caused many to commit suicide.

I'm just glad i plucked up the courage to abandon what i loved the most. Which is posting on Minds.

There will never be another Ayesha. A unique character that you hounded out from Minds. Be pleased with yourselves. You managed to stop me posting.

Aug 2

Note

I think back to my time on Minds. One many occasions, i had stunning entries. No it wasn't just once or twice. It was many times. There were even many days, that i had the only winning entry that day.

Yet i never ever got a compliment. Instead those winning entries would get 10-45 downvotes. What level of hate is this, that you could never ever give me a compliment.

I am human. Everyone would like to get a compliment now and again when they perform well. Yet your level of hate is such that you could never give me a compliment.

Aug 2

Note

If they heard on the news, that a trader named Ayesha commited suicide, i swear to GOD they could go on about their day in peace. They wouldn't even question themselves, 'did i contribute to Ayesha's suicide'.

Thats the level of hate these people are on.

I'm glad to have finally plucked up the courage to leave Minds for good.

Aug 3

Note

I had a good day. Made 48% gain on account today and finished this week green 3%. Its a milestone for me. Because its the first time i've ever had 2 green weeks in a row. I think maybe i've had one other occasion i ended 2 weeks green.

Started last week with 140 ended with 309.
Started this week with 309 and ended with 321.

When you finish the week green, you feel heppy. I feel happy right now. I almost lost my account this week.

Maybe there is hope after all.
Maybe i will become a successful trader one day.
Who knows?
No one knows what the future lay for me.
All i can do is keep fighting. Keep working hard.

Now we wait for the weekend to go. I hate weekends. I think everyone else does too.

Gonna prove people wrong one day.

Aug 3

Note

I watch a lot of motivational videos. Short clips. And i watched a vid titled
'Can Dele Alli hit his prime again?'
And i could relate to it. He has a dream. And i have a dream too. My dream is Livermore 2.0.

Aug 3

Note

Hate the weekends. Really hate them. I just want to trade. Boring. Very boring. They really should open the markets 6 days a week, with 1 day off. 2 days off is unbearable.

Aug 4

Note

Weekends are for dreaming what you will make next week. Then Monday opens.

Aug 6

Note

It's ok Ayesha. Livermore. Always remember Livermore. You can do it. I know you can. Livermore 2.0 always. Livermore 2.0.

Aug 6

Note

lost my account yesterday. Sold the puts today. Had 16 left. Added 200 funds. Got 40% profit but ive bought 4 532c calls afterhours for 36cents. If i lose those tomorrow i'll have 185 left from 216 today. I'm hoping they win.

No more Livermore. No more believing in myself. Its just better i accept i will never make it. Just hope i get some lucky win one day and thats it.

I mean, i've never had a lucky win in my life either. Maybe once or twice.

Its not gonna happen. I've given up. Just playing now, expecting to lose. All my charting for 3.8years was for nothing. I learned nothing from it. I wasted my life and my life savings thinking i was clever, so i would eventually be able to learn trading.

All i found out was i was loser. I got whole web sites full of people telling me im a loser. And i still thought they were all wrong about me.

Yeah, when everyone in the world is calling you a loser. Then you are. Everyone can't be saying the same thing about you, and they are all wrong.

Thats just playing the victim. Oh everyones ganging up on me. They are wrong. No Ayesha. Everyone cannot be wrong. Even they boot you out of minds. No-one likes you. No-one ever will. Maybe one day you'll be working as a maid for them too. Just accept who you are Ayesha. You are Ayesha.

Aug 6

Note

I'm sorry Jesse. You put your faith into the wrong person. You wasted your time with me.

Aug 6

Note

No Ayesha. You are Livermore 2.0.

Aug 7

Note

a bit angry, i sold my calls at open. Rocketed afterwards and i ended up jumping back in late and sold those calls early aswell. 62% of account gained. Now at 475 - the 200 i had to fund yesterday is 275. So i've almost got my 321 account back. Hope i dont mess up today and lose it.

Aug 7

Note

chilling for now. Hesitancy killed the cat. I missed my entries through hesitancy. So gonna take the 62% gain on account and sit out for now.

Aug 7

Note

bought some PUTS and sold immediately. I need to grow this account before i start holding my trades. Account is up 87% today. 548 total now, so i've recovered my 321 account plus the 200 funds i added, and 27 profit for the week. Maybe i'm gonna have a 3rd winning week in a row.

Aug 7

Note

I'm so bored now. I just want to trade, but its all too extended now. But the problem is i don't want to lose anything from my 87% gain today. Thats like my biggest win. So i want to stop trading right now. But i can't. Because i havent gotten control over my emotions yet as a trader. My ex-mentor used to say, you have to be like a robot. Emotionless.

Yeah the game is not easy for me. Because i'm a volatile person in the first place. I dont have that control yet. Working on it. Its gotten a lot better than before. I am able to hold off buying anything sometimes. But not always. Sometimes i get sucked in like a greedy pig. Greed Ayesha. Did you make money today? Yes 87% gain on account. Then walk away Ayesha. Stop loving the game to the point where you are behaving like a gambling addict. Get a grip of yourself. OK Jesse. I'll do it.

Aug 7

Note

Account is now 551 88% gain today. Just need to finish this week with 1000 then i buy a call/put and relax instead of selling too quick.

Aug 7

Note

Not sure whats going on with the market. Never seen it like. Pump, Dump, Pump, Dump. One minute NVDA owners cheering, next minute egg in the face.

Aug 7

Note

ok time to go do something else.

Aug 7

Note

markets closed and there is no need to study. I'll do studying on the weekend.

Aug 8

Note

just need to win Today and Tomorrow and finish the week strong.

Aug 8

Note

One of the goals i have is, is to be able to get my life back. 3.8 years i've been trading. And because i keep losing, i've never been able to sleep. All i do is knock to sleep with my phone and laptop still running, and i'll knock out for a couple of hours and thats it. On average i've slept only 4 hours a day through out those 3.8 years. Sometimes i haven't slept for 3 days straight.

But yesterday, i managed to switch off my laptop after market closed. And i had a good sleep. And thats because i feel better about myself. I am very harsh on myself. So even though i had been performing well for over 2 weeks, because of the one or two days where i lost big-time, i just start calling myself 'useless'. Deep down, i know I am not 'useless'. Rather deep down i still believe in myself. And i gotta keep going. There will be light at the end of the tunnel one day. That is what i believe.

I still believe in my dream.

Aug 8

Note

account is now 637 gained 15% but again same thing. It goes sideways and i end up selling. Its just the call cost me 250 and my account was 551 so i didnt want to risk losing 250, therefore i took the 86 profit when it went sideways. Its still good. 15% a day is 100% a week. So anyone who doubles their account in a week, should not complain. But i'm a greedy pig.

Aug 8

Note

trying to stop myself from trading. its very hard. I just do not have control over my emotions. Account is 648 up 17%. Gonna stay out for now. If i can make it out of today with the 17%, that is a good enough gain. I'm just getting too greedy. Greed Ayesha. Greed. Stop it. Chill.

Aug 8

Note

account now 653 18% up. I did some dumbness and jumped back in calls. It went down, i got theta decayed and when it went up i only made 1%. But still. It all adds up.

I'm coming for you Milo.

Aug 8

Note

Now the focus is to not trade anymore. 18% gain aint no joke. Take it Ayesha and don't lose it. We can compound Ayesha, if you would only take your profits and run everyday. Greedy girl.

Aug 8

Note

yeah jumped back in. Couldnt help it. like i always do. gave back 4% of the gains. 14% gain on account today. 630 is account balance. Want another win on Friday to finish up the week good. Started week with 321. added 200 funds. So total profits this week 101. Still Friday left

Aug 8

Note

actually 109 profits. my calculation was wrong. Looking to kick on. Getting more consistency now. Not happy Friday is already here. Hate weekends. But if i can get a big win tomorrow, it would help me get through the weekend. Bloody weekends. Hate them so much. Hoping i can get consistent. If i do, then i'm gonna stop spending all my time on trading. Have to get my life back. Do other things. Spend time with children. Spend time on other hobbies that i have. Visit family.

Friends? Nope. I don't have time for friends right now. Just can't be bothered. I don't have that much free time. Weekends i work. Weekdays i trade. So not enought time for children, family and on top of that friends.

I just don't have time.

And maybe i have turned into an unsocial person aswell. Its not good. Its not a good characteristic to have. But i just don't have time. I do my chores before the market opens. Cooking, shopping, etc. Once the market opens, i'm working. I only take breaks to prepare food. I am around my 2 kids all day. Well one of them. My boy is stuck to his PS5 all day. He's a bit too old to hang around with mummy. My daughters older than him, but she doesn't stay in her bedroom all day. She comes into the kitchen, living room, my bedroom. So thats how it is right now.

I've already explained to them the situation. The situation is we will never get out of poverty if i just work for a salary. These days one salary in the household is not gonna get you out of poverty, even if you earn 70-100k.

They've seen me lose. So they never ever believe in me. I would tell them, if i make it, we will get out of poverty.

But recently my son said to me, 'I think you might do it mum'.

I felt real happy when he said that.

Aug 12

Note

Previously I mentioned that my laptop broke. Just stopped working. And I dont have enough money to buy one. But my daughter had a spare laptop. The only problem was it was a slow chromebook with a bad screen. I didn't like it. Only good point was it would load up real quick. But my verdict after using it for over a month. Chromebooks are better than Windows Laptops. Why? Solely because reliability. I've not had to restart it once because its gone slow, or it's froze, or any problems. It loads up super quick, does the job i need it to, and never gives me any problem. So for that reason, i recommend getting a chromebook for trading. But get one with a good screen.

Market is opening. Not feeling confident anymore. I'm getting some losses now. Money management has allowed me to keep the wins bigger than losses. But not confident anymore.

I think when the confidence goes, i have to find something that will make me feel good about myself. That's the only way to bring the confidence back.

So sometimes i look for an uplifting song. The one i found today was a video of,

Dreams by Gabrielle Crooner Sessions

So just listening to that song, and trying to lower my heartrate.

Because my heart rate increases on Sunday in anticipation of the market opening.

Worrying about losing money on Monday.

So im just listening to this song over and over again, lowering my heart rate.

Doing last preparations looking at my charts.

I've got plenty to say always, but i've been silenced by the people, so I stopped posting entries and even my thoughts. Just tired of people telling me not to post.

Now i cant even be bothered with the Livermore 2.0 stuff.

Couldnt give a damn about Livermore 2.0 anymore.

I am Ayesha.

Aug 12

Note

If i get there, i will declare myself Livermore 2.0

Until then i aint mentioning Livermore 2.0 anymore.

Besides we have Livermore 3.0 now. Thats Ap739

Aug 12

Note

messed up, pooped my pants and sold far too early. Went in with too small a size also. 4% of account gained. Now little bit of patience for the next trade.

Aug 12

Note

what can you do. Could've got 300 instead got 27. But need to be professional about it. Be patient. Wait for another opportunity. If it doesnt come then just take the 4% gain and be happy. I don't want to start Monday off losing money, because then you'll be on revenge trading mode. Which is even more dangerous.

Just relax Ayesha. Relax. Don't watch others. You protect your account. Make sure you don't do anything stupid. 4% is good. We got 4 more days.

Aug 12

Note

account up 7% now. Sold too early again, and went in with too small a size. But my focus is not to lose today. So i don't mind 7%. Things will improve over time. For now just got to keep growing the account. These small wins are adding up. Account 659 now. Want to hit the 1k mark this week.

Aug 12

Note

account up 12% now. Just wondering whether to call it a day. Market took down my entry so i was red at some point before it went back up. 12% is good.

Aug 12

Note

Ended with 12% of account gained.

Monday is out of the way now. And have a little profit buffer for tomorrow. Good Job Ayesha. Stick to your stuff. I know it seems like everyone is making 100-200% a day. Its quite simply not true. If it was they would all have been millionaires by now. So do not compare yourself with others. You stick to your stuff, and you focus on trying to grow your account. The account is 686. So these small gains are adding up.

Aug 13

Note

Got to keep working. The charts are hit and miss. Never ending search for success, that never ends. You think you got it, and then it starts failing. And back to square. Or back to the drawing board.

Aug 13

Note

Trading is hard for me. But it's important i dont listen to no-one. I refuse to listen to anyone who cannot trade live with account balance. Allin0DTE asked people for proof of their winnings. All you heard was silence like as if they are trying to hide their money. How can you claim you want to hide your money, but at the same time declare to the world you made 2-50k. I like straightforward people. I don't waste my time with wafflers. Oye you, Waffler. Any proof? LOL.

Anyway good luck today. I'm not feeling confident because my charts are not working overnight on other tickers. This has taken my confidence away. But i still trade anyway. Because i cannot go a day without taking a trade. Its an addiction obviously, but im not denying i am not addicted to trading. I am.

Aug 13

Note

listening to

dreams - gabrielle SBTV version.

Just trying to calm the nerves. The pressure starts building before open always. Always start feeling pessimistic before open.

Aug 13

Note

4.79% of account gained. Taking a break. My charts giving bad entries. Still a win, but gonna chill. I do not want any losses.

Aug 13

Note

5.07% of account gained. Had to get out, because i was asking myself, why am i risking here. I should've held, didn't and now i'm chasing. Recipe for disaster. So got out.

Account 720.98 now.

Aug 13

Note

1.86% gain on account. Tried to buy some PUTS thinking they would sell off before end of day going into CPI tomorrow. It reversed on me. And i'm not willing to hold trades overnight. I'd rather cut the loss, since i'm still in profit for the day. So thats it. Another day, i sell too early. But thats been the case my whole life. Sell too early, and hold losers too long. Anyway, doesn't matter.

I go again tomorrow. Hopefully i can get a big win, because i really wanted to hit that 1k mark this week. Account is growing slower than i wanted. But first step, is to stop losing money. And things are going well.

Aug 13

Note

account is 698.95.

Aug 13

Note

I believe SPY will dump by open tomorrow. Just my gut feeling. But i wont hold anything overnight. If i'm gonna call myself a daytrader, then thats what i have to do. Close my trades before the end of day, whether its a win or a loss. In truth, i sold to end my day green. Even though it was just 1.87% of my account, it still feels like a win. As we saw, many lost today. So 1.87% feels good. I know i am getting better. I know it. And others know it. I even saw that some people were averaging down, all in. This is what i used to do, when i used to get caught with a bad entry. All in, is the worst thing you can do in options trading. Get it wrong and your whole account is gone.

Aug 13

Note

I was having a little fun on minds last 2 days. Its gone haywire over there. Its very entertaining though. You see, i don't mind what people post. I can ignore what i dont like. I don't need to get vexed because someone posted something. At your workplace, do you like everyone? I dont. But i can still get on with them, even if i dont like them. Thats the difference. Its a big difference. Im not a dictator. Or a person who wants to tell people, "dont post".

Anyway who cares. I'm doing my own thing. All im concerned about, is growing my account. They call it Tunnel Vision.

Gonna listen to

Dreams - Gabrielle SBTV version

And that song will automatically turn me into Livermore 2.0.

Aug 14

Note

Very happy today. Bought calls after open, got wrecked, kept averaging down, until no funds left, then i added 100 funds and averaged down more. My conviction was SPY was going up eventually, so i backed my conviction with more funds. Then it went up and i made 33% gain on my account. Thats a big win for me.

started day with 698, added 100 so 798. Ended the day with 1064, so 266 profit.

or minus the 100 funds added 964.

a jump from 698 to 964.

Beautiful Ayesha. Absolutely beautiful. Exactly the kind of win i wanted.

2 days left, now hoping to finish the week off with more wins.

Aug 14

Note

Lets Go Ayesha. Are you Livermore 2.0 or not.

Aug 14

Note

Not yet Jesse. But improving. You know the maniac Ayesha is working always.

Aug 15

Note

Even though i won yesterday, i know it was a lucky gamble. So people will say she is a gambler. But at the end of the day, nobody cares if someone has gambled or not. The only thing people care about is, did they win? Are they winning? Thats the only thing people care about.

In my opinion, trading IS gambling. And the famed trader Druikenmiller also shares this view. That trading is gambling. Thats because he is honest. He does not have a ego. He knows, he is not special, and there is an element of luck involved in trading.

Others on Tradingview have a different view. They believe they are not gambling. That they are special. That they are the only trader who is not gambling, while the rest of us are. That is ego.

There was one dummy who replied to me once and talked bad about Jesse Livermore. He claimed do not take Livermore as a role model. Livermore lost all his winnings and died an alcoholic.

The ego on this guy. He thinks he is better than Jesse Livermore.

The only mistake Livermore did was, he didn't take money out when he made hundreds of millions in todays money. Thats his only mistake.

Apart from that, he was the greatest trader of all time. How you ask.

Because i believe that no-one else in the world could've gone from zero to richest trader alive 3 times. To go from zero to millions, 3 times, shows Livermores level of skill.

For me Jesse Livermore was the greatest trader of all-time.

Aug 15

Note

11% gain on account. Gonna sit out the rest of the day. Need to protect this account.

Aug 16

Note

I jumped back in. I just couldn't walk away. Maybe im gonna give up, trying to walk away from the market. Because i'm always failing in that.

Finished 6% gain on account and holding 1 free call for tomorrow. If i lose that i still got 6% gain. So today is a win. 6% booked. But there is the possibility i might get more profit if my call goes up tomorrow.

Things are going well. I even been sleeping a bit more than usual. Today i knocked out to sleep after dinner. But im awake now. So working.

Aug 16

Note

Would be nice if i could finish off the week with a big win on Friday. That would just help me get through the boring weekend. Its that time again. The weekend. The days i cannot stand.

Aug 16

Note

Real-time entries are the most interesting posts.

Anyone can waffle about Vix, Waves, Fibs, etc. Whats the point of that, if you are unable to show your knowledge in action real-time.

Because most people in the trading world are liars, and pretenders. I don't care you got lucky for 2 years and made money. Are you making money now? Lets see you trade live.

You won't trade live. The end.

But on top of that, they decide to stop the person who is actually trading live, from posting her entries.

These are nonsense posters. Ego-maniacs who only like to boast and refuse to trade live.

I don't care no more. They wanted me to stop posting my entries, and i obliged.

Aug 16

Note

Fibbynichi has been calling out SPY PT of 500 for yonks. And META PT of 400 for yonks. He's been continually calling these PT out while the price has been moving the opposite way.

Whats funny is his posts get 45-90 likes.

Who the hell is liking his posts.

Probably the same people who start downvoting my entries when they are doing great.

This trading world is just full of adults behaving like children.

Absolute nonsense in this world.

Aug 16

Note

My lotto is getting killed right now. So looks like yesterday is 6% gains only. I was up 13% at one point. Oh well.

Aug 17

Note

8% gain on account today. I got caught buy PUTS at open, and then the gambling tendencies crept back into my game and i averaged down more and more until i put nearly all my account in PUTS, but then i saw that the price was just gonna keep going up. So i decided to sell the PUTS and buy CALLS. And it worked out for me. Account was down 50% and the calls recovered it to 7.77% gain and then i bought a cheap lotto PUT and sold that when it dumped a bit. 8% gain on account in the end.

Doing very well now. Just need to kick on. Give it time, Try not to lose money.

Now its the weekend. Of course i am not happy, because I HATE WEEKENDS.

Aug 17

Note

Just bored out of my head right now. Bored. So bored. Do something else Ayesha. I can't Jesse. Not until I have money to spend on the weekend.

Aug 17

Note

You'll get the money soon.

Aug 17

Note

Well i'm still waiting to see some money. Until then, its a pipedream.

Aug 17

Note

If Livermore 2.0 ever turns up, its over for the MMs. They wont know what hit them.

Aug 18

Note

Boring Boring Weekends. But everyone will go around pretending that they like breaks from the market. Not me. I do not like breaks from the market. If I could control the opening times, i would open 6 hr and close 6hrs, 7 days a week. That way the person who loses, can have a 6hr break and come back for revenge on the next session in 6hrs time. Plus those who want to trade more, can trade more. But im not in charge of the market opening times. So its all pointless thoughts.

So thats it. 27hrs to kill before the market opens.

I want to double my account this week. Thats my target always, but i wouldn't mind 1000x'ing my account in a week. Thats a pipedream. But doubling my account is a realistic target.

I dont trust myself. Always happens. I lose everything in days. Thats Ayesha. But things are going well. So i am a bit more optimistic than before with my future.

Aug 19

Note

25% gain on account today. I just followed EsseAxiom. He was bullish and he usually wins, so i just followed him.

Walking away from the market now.

Aug 19

Note

27% gain on account now. Took another call. Took profit quick though. Not messing around holding. Because i want to keep my gain for the day intact.

Aug 19

Note

finished the day 29% gain on account. Now i have 29% profit cushion for Tuesday. The pressure is off on Tuesday. I can lose on Tuesday and still be green in the week.

Aug 20

Note

I think i lost my account. All in calls 1dte

Aug 20

Note

gambling tendencies of averaging down more and more when losing. Oh well. Time for the clown to finally give up unless the market gives me a miracle. Just not cut out for this. Will never be able to control myself. Did not even follow my charts today. So why am i even trying to become a trader if i can't follow my charts. Anyway, no point fretting. Just have to see what happens tomorrow and hope for a miracle.

Aug 21

Note

I escaped with 200 pro at open and re-entered calls but not all in this time. Last night till open today was stressful.

Anyway made more on calls today and got a 59% gain on account.

I'm not jumping back in today. Gonna run with the 59% i stole from the MMs.

I told you, im coming after the MMs.

Livermore 2.0 is alive and fighting. They underestimating the bi-polar Ayesha.

Account is now 2240. minus the 300 extra funds i put in is 1940.

Aug 21

Note

62% gain on account. Account now 2279

Aug 21

Note

This week went fast. Its already Thursday. The Friday and the boring Weekend is here. I think i have an addiction to trading real bad. Because even right now, i can't wait for the time to go, so the market opens. I just wanna trade. Thats all i want to do. So that means I am addicted. But thats because i have no money. If i had big money then i would be spending my winnings after the market closes. Thats what it is. So i don't believe its an addiction in the pure form. Because if i had big money, I would love my spare time. Right now I am poor. A brokie. Lost her life savings to the market. 45k in total. Thats why I am not happy.

Aug 22

Note

The learning never stops. Tried futures again and got whooped. Stuck with a bag. 380 gone unless i get a miracle.

Never mind. Still green for the week by a lot. Without experiencing failures there is no learning. Thats the way it is. Always have to give back money to the market sometimes. Im never gonna be able to reach the level of the traders on minds. They are always winning. Yeah, no joke. They never lose. Even if the price goes the opposite way of their entry, they'll claim they got out before it turned on them.

Aug 22

Note

the gambling tendencies i just can't get rid off. Averaged down and lost even more. Bloody futures BS. They got me. Most of my gains from yesterday are already gone.

Aug 22

Note

my charts have just given me 3 losses in a row. Looks like the winning run is over. Got happy for no reason.

Aug 22

Note

hate losing like this. Because now im gonna be on revenge mode, so i know i'm gonna go in large size trying to recoup the lost profits.

Aug 22

Note

not even sure why i keep trying futures when my speciality is SPY. Will never learn to control myself.

Aug 22

Note

lost all my gains from yesterday and more. need a miracle now

Aug 22

Note

lost my account. I'm not cut out for this. I average down until its all gone. i cannot even stop myself from doing it. Besides i have no money left. And neither are my charts working. What can you do. Thats life. Sometimes you just gotta accept when you are useless loser. Thats all i am and all i ever will be. The fight is gone.

Aug 22

Note

I just dont know what to do. I look at my kids faces and cry because i couldnt get them out of poverty. My son was getting happy and i dont know how to tell him its all gone and mummy is quiting. That will crush him, when i say i quit. But i have to. I am starting to get suicidal thoughts and i dont know. Should i carry on. How will i get back from zero. I just can't look at my sons face. But yeah im gone from here for good. Milo said i should buy a gun and a bullet a couple of days ago. This place is really not good for me. I dont know how i ended up with people hating me so much. You say you lost your account and people don't even give condolences. I am not a bad person. I don't know why people treat me like this.

Its Ok. I will move on with my life.

Aug 23

Note

Not really bothered. Whether i lose or not, does not make a difference. This aint Livermore. When Livermore 2.0 arrives, MMs wont know what hit them.

I got 112 left. So i must just try to get to 2k from 100 again. Maybe this will be part of the learning process. That i had to 10x my account and lose it all, in order to get better.

So thats it. Back to square one. 112 in the account.

Aug 23

Note

Punk MMs wont know what hit them.

Aug 27

Note

I don't know. Was feeling down for a few days. Gave up charting. Was feeling sorry for myself. The fight had gone totally. But i dont know. Today i'm starting to feel a bit better. Looking at my charts again. Studying. Not like before though where i used to study all night. I'll be switching off the laptop soon. And going sleep early.

I always found that whenever i've lost my account, the following days i sleep real good. I think an active brain is what causes people to not sleep.

I'm gonna continue that. Trying to sleep more.

Trading is not everything in life.

I think maybe if i relax more, i will make less mistakes.

I fell asleep on my laptop today, during the market. I was not happy when i woke up an hour later. Because SPY rocketed and i missed the move. But i enjoyed the sleep. I feel like my body is catching up on the missed sleep.

I'm looking forward to sleeping today.

Aug 28

Note

Account number 48 on the way to be blown. Aint no hope. I am known as the trader to inverse and you will 90% of the time, bigly. Like 100-1000% gains inversing me. How can i be so useless. I just don't know. over 7000 chart setups and every single one decide to not work the day i use them. The day i dont use them, they win. Am i unlucky or what is it. How can i be the trader who takes the most trades and has never landed a 100% win even by luck.

Oh well. Just accept you are a loser Ayesha. And then you wont be disappointed. Thats the easiest way to get through it. Its clear, you wont ever be successful. 7000 charts go against you, when you enter. You are hopeless Ayesha. Just accept it, then the losses wont affect you. If you can be happy when you lose, it would be even better. No more heartache. No more depression. Only problem is there is no unlimited money. Thats where the real problem is.

Aug 31

Note

There is a rule of practice. You cannot do something over and over again, and not get better. One day things will all come together.

Sep 5

Note

Nothing ventured, nothing, gained.

Gotta be in it to win it.

Thats why i cannot be out of trading.

I gotta be in it to win it.

Until then i have to keep losing.

And then the tide will turn.

Sep 11

Note

When will the tide turn Ayesha?

Sep 11

Note

I don't know Jesse. I really don't know. I guess i have to keep trading and trading and losing and losing, until one day i get better. Thats all i can do. And maybe stay away from interacting with people.

It's me and you now Jesse. I'm not gonna go on minds anymore. I should've listened to you in the place. You told me how many times, 'Stay away from the people'. But i didnt listen.

Anyway i'm back now. Away from the people.

Sep 17

Note

Lost my account Jesse. Saxobank autoclose ODTES 2 hrs from close, and i went all in. What can i do. Just the biggest bag of dung that ever was. Will always be useless. I dont know why you ever believed in me. I'm sorry Jesse. I'm sorry you chose me to be your protege who was gonna return your name to the top. I'm sorry Jesse.

Sep 18

Note

There's nothing to do Ayesha, you gotta keep losing forever. Thats all you're good for.

Sep 18

Note

I know Jesse. I know.

Sep 18

Note

Tupac Lyrics.

"a million things run through my mind.
you ain't,
gotta be in jail,
to be doing,
time"

The life of Ayesha, the worst loser in history. Lost all my friends to this game. Just a lonely existence. Just miss my ex-mentor. The only person i got on with. But he's died. Miss him so much. Life is unbearable when you are totally alone.

I saw my friend who i used to go out with before i started trading. She was happy to see me, i told her i would call her at night to catch up. I never did call her. Because i've changed. The game changed me. I did not want to catch up with her, so i didnt call her.

All i have is trading. And its born out of a necessity to earn money to survive. To get out of poverty. Instead trading plunged me into further poverty and there is not even any person in the trading world that shows any empathy. Instead they kick you when you're down.

The only time you will hear any empathy from them is after they hear you've committed suicide. Then they will say 'i feel bad for Ayesha. She tried so hard. And so on'.

There are no humans in the trading world. Only animals.

I'm stuck here now. My time on Minds has come to an end.

I won't be updating anything, because i have no funds left. So stuck papertrading now for a couple of weeks or more.

Sep 21

Note

Ended the week badly after getting a miracle taking 86 to near 800. But back down to 450. But holding one 572c for Monday. Maybe i might get another miracle.

Finally gonna leave minds for good. Had enough of the soy boys on that board. Now they are starting on Miller because he posts his entries real-time. Can't be bothered with the people there no more.

They can secretly read my posts here, despite claiming they do not want to see my posts, and that i should leave Minds.

Don't be reading my posts here then secretly.

#why are you here reading my posts if you want to block me.

Block this.

Sep 28

Note

Never Mind Ayesha. Life goes on. Keep pursuing the dream. Until you are done pursuing it.

Oct 2

Note

I lost my account. So that was the last battle. I'm also going ahead with my plan to quit. I don't enjoy it anymore. And besides i wont have any funds for 2 mths because i got gas bills coming in next week, and they gonna be high. Also had to service my car and fix a few things, so out of money for 2mths. Papertrading? Never. I'd rather die than papertrade. I'm gonna return to God for 2mths. Maybe money aint everything in life. And nobody knows how much work i put into this. Anyway goodbye guys. I'm out for 2mths minimum.